Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014

Here I am writing you from the year 2014. That sounds so....future-y. To recap my night last night, I was so tired, that I was in bed by about 9pm. So it marked the first new year in about 12 years that I haven't rang in January 1 with the count down. I wouldn't have changed it one bit! I have never looked forward to a new year so much. 2014 is finally our year.

2013 was.....what's the right word? Exhausting. We did three frozen embryo transfers, lost two babies, and were finally pregnant with a baby with a healthy, beating heart as we rang in the new year (or I guess you could say I snored in the new year.) But all of the hard work and heartache was so worth it. It has forever changed who I am and will be. Had someone told me ten years ago I'd be in this position, I would never have believed them. Never in a million years did I think I'd be an outspoken advocate for embryo adoption. I wouldn't have even known of it! Never did I think I could be pregnant with our adopted child. Never would I have believed I would have relationships with our genetic donor families. And never did I think it would have been this hard to get here. But the pain had a purpose because it's changed me. Forever.

My heart still aches, and will forever ache, for those of you are still praying for your miracles. I hate that any of us have to suffer from infertility and/or loss. It's been the hardest experience of my life times a hundred. It's so unfair that some of the most amazing women I've met are forced to fight this fight that they never signed up for. And then cruelly, the majority of the world doesn't understand their pain. So we suffer in silence.

There are literally no words to express the gratitude to God, to Kevin, to our donors, my fellow EA mama-friends, and to all of you. I couldn't have made it to this point without you all. I hope all of your dreams come true on whatever path you are on. I hope 2014 brings you success. And if nothing else, a promising path of hope for the future.

12 comments:

  1. Your story always fills me with so much hope and helps me to know that our choice to donate if it is to be- it the right choice!! Thinking of you and 2014!

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    1. Oh I'm thrilled to know you want to donate! If I'm able to help even on person make this decision, I will forever be filled with joy. :) Happy New Year to you!

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  2. I love everything about this post. You are such a strong woman and although I haven't met you in person, over the last 2-3 years of posting online I feel like I know you and I've watched you grow. I'm am so unbelievably happy for you and Kevin! You have become my inspiration to push through our own path and continue on. Happy New Year!

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    1. You are so sweet! I can't believe how long we have been doing this together! I am praying so hard you have success with your cycle...I really want this to be IT FOR YOU! Hugs! Happy New Year to you as well!

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  3. Happy new year! I snored it in too! So excited for what 2014 has in store for you!!

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  4. Happy New Year! Thank you for your beautiful words and wishes for the new year :) It's absolutely staggering to step back and think of all that has happened in a year. None of us deserve this, but you're right that it changes us. I think for the better, as hard as it is to go through it. I'm sending you and your snowflake love and peace in the New Year!!

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    1. It's so difficult being in the darkest depths of pain. But it does change you. I don't even remember the person I was before IF hit us hard. I like to think I'm a better person now. I pray the same for those of you who are still struggling (and by no means do I believe I'm out of the woods either!) Thank you for YOUR kind words! I wish you only success and joy in the new year.

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  5. Count me in for sleeping as the new year rolled in! I'm so happy for the good news that ended such a hard year for you. God is so good! 2014 has a lot in store for you, my dear. Hugs!

    -Mel @ thereisahigherhope.blogspot.com

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    1. Lol! Me too. Thanks for being such an amazing support to us. :) Happy new year!

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