Kevin and I went out to dinner on Sunday night. As expected, the server started by asking us what we wanted to drink. Kevin selected a beer from the restaurants extensive list of on-tap beers. And of course, I asked for water with lemon. I told our server I had a gluten intolerance and asked a few questions about the menu. The server returned with our drinks and then said to me "Did you order water only because you can't drink beer due to the gluten in it? Because we have gluten free beer if you'd like that." And my response was "Actually, I'm pregnant."
Whoa. Did those words actually come out of my mouth? It felt really foreign (yet oh-so-good) to say! The server's face lit up with a smile and she beamed "Congratulations!"
She began asking questions like "When are you due?" I answered "August."
She asked "Are you scared?" and of course my first reaction was "Yup, I'm terrified."
Then it dawned on me that she was likely asking if I'm scared to be a mother - NOT if I'm scared if this baby will actually die before being born as my first two had. Cue the reality of infertile brain.
After the brief conversation, Kevin and I reflected about what a surreal moment we just had with this stranger. I really am pregnant. And to this server, I was probably just a regular ol' pregnant woman who has a baby growing inside of her because of a roll in the hay with her husband. Does it matter to me if she knows the miraculous additional details of how this pregnancy came to be or not? Not really. But it did get me thinking about it since I imagine I'll be having similar conversations with others as my pregnancy (God-willingly) progresses.
I always told myself that I would be an advocate for embryo adoption. It is an incredible but widely unknown path that I wish was more known and accepted in our society. I always strive to live by the motto of "Be the change you wish to be in this world." So with that being said, I need to make sure I'm not afraid to talk about it or share. This is one of the reasons I blog. It's one of the reasons I started our EA/ED Facebook group. But it's a whole new territory broaching this topic with strangers as we discuss my seemingly "ordinary" pregnancy. Who exactly should I share our story with? With servers at restaurants? When exactly is appropriate? I feel I need to be delicate so that I don't over-share, BUT I feel called to share. Because if the story of our experience with embryo adoption ultimately gets back to a suffering infertile couple who then begins to research it and they ultimately find success with it themselves, it will all be worth it to me. I would also love for couples with leftover remaining embryos to know an amazing option exists for them as well.
There's a concept used in the business world called an 'elevator speech.' An elevator speech is when someone explains an idea in a quick yet powerful 30-60 second speech as they might stand next to a stranger in an elevator. It's the chance to make a strong first impression on any particular topic. I feel like I need to come up with my 'elevator speech' for our story of embryo adoption. I need to condense it into a nutshell, ensure I share only the right amount of details, and have it ready if the right moment presents itself. I know I wont use this speech with everyone I meet, but if I feel the moment is right, I want to be ready.
For those of you who have been through embryo adoption, do you have your 'elevator speech' prepared? What do you say? What questions prompt you to bring up your experience with embryo adoption? Who do you find yourself sharing your story with and why?