Monday, July 22, 2013

Time bomb cake

Here's a recipe for a time-bomb cake:


  • 1 cup frustrated infertile wife
  • 1 cup frustrated infertile husband
  • 10 pound diabetic cat needing constant attention
  • 5 cups idiotic insurance company making ridiculous decisions
  • 2 cups idiotic HR department reps who are not helpful at all
  • 1 cup donor-clinic never-ending paperwork bureaucracy


  • 1 daily birth control pill

Heat oven to 100+ degree humid Texas heat. Pour all ingredients into a bowl and mix vigorously until tears and bloodcurdling screams start to form. Bake, and watch carefully for top to blow off which will inevitably happen. Frost with special birth control frosting to ensure absolute madness.

There's my attempt at trying to make light of where I am mentally.

I wish I had news on positive progress. But of course, I don't.

Each and every Monday morning I wake up hoping and praying I get good news in the upcoming week. Then without fail, the following Friday I end up in a cryfest to Kevin because nothing moved forward and I have found myself still waiting.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

The frustration builds with every passing day. This negativity is hanging around my head like an anvil. I'm sure I'm not pleasant to be around. I'm certainly not myself.

What do all of you do when you need an outlet to blow off the steam? Punching bag? Shooting targets?
Let's hear your suggestions.


  1. I'm so sorry things are taking so long :( and I know the heat and hormones don't do anything to help. I reccommend hiking/walking someplace that is peaceful and away from people/traffic. I always feel better when I'm surrounded by nature. My other suggestions is a good book and a bubble bath. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you this week.

    1. Thanks so much.... Yeah I need to find a way to get away somehow! And I haven't had a bubble bath in a while. :) Great suggestions. Thanks for the positive thoughts.

  2. I am sorry this is so fustrating. I wish it could be a better experience for you! When I am a total stress ball wreck, I have to exercise. Run, walk, swim, get out and do something physical. Yoga is nice and relaxing as well. I wish you all the luck in the world!

    1. I have some Yoga DVDs...maybe I need to break them out. :) Thanks for commenting.

  3. Ugh I am so sorry. Make sure you are allowing yourself to have "feel bad for me" time. I sometimes accidentally do the opposite. I over schedule myself with work and friends and volunteering to try to distract myself. Then two weeks later I haven't taken a break and am on the edge of a break down. So make sure you schedule (write it down on the calender!) "sad time" And do what you need to do. Cry. Watch sad movies. Just feel sad. This is not to be confused with "feel mad time" which you also need - but for this I prefer a therapist or my support group - because I need someone to listen! Hope that helps! And then, exercise. It sucks, but man it helps!

    1. I've been thinking a lot about what you're saying, and you're right. Theres a fine line between distracting myself too much and not letting myself be allowed to feel the emotions that come with this - negative ones included! Thanks. :)

  4. So disappointing! I can't believe how much of a struggle this has been!