Monday, May 13, 2013

The Moms in my life

Whew, it's Monday. 

The Monday after Mother's day is always a welcomed day for anyone dealing with infertility/loss. Waking up on this morning means I made it through that "one day" once again alive and breathing. But the truth be told, I actually had a pretty nice day yesterday. It was much better than I had anticipated. I did have an emotional meltdown on Saturday afternoon when I looked outside at the two statues and trees planted in memory of my Mom and baby Maggie and it hit hard what was lost. But Kevin held me and made an extra effort to make Mother's day itself a beautiful day for me and I'm pleased to report that was able to hold it together the entire day yesterday.

In big news, I got a call from Libby yesterday afternoon. She was calling to let me know that she had given birth to her baby girl earlier that day! Funny enough, she was due on Mother's day making her one of the few women who actually gave birth to their babies on their actual due date. I was so overwhelmingly happy for her! The most touching part is that she told me that she thought of me within minutes of giving birth and knew right away that giving us these embryos was the right thing to do. I was touched beyond comprehension, right into tears. It meant a lot for her to think of me at such a special moment and I can't express how much it meant to me to hear this. And of course, she wished me a Happy Mother's day because she knows I'll be a Mother someday too....some way, some how.

Vicky also emailed me telling me she was thinking of me. Vicky wished me a wonderful day and said she had prayers that we'd have a little bundle of joy this time next year to share our love with.

I recognize that an open embryo adoption is without question the right choice for us. I am so grateful for the wonderful donors who are giving us these most selfless gifts and the chance at parenthood. I would never know these incredible women if it had not been for this harsh path we've traveled  It feels like a sisterhood. That's the only way I can describe it!

For dinner, we had my Mother in law come visit so we could pamper her by making her a fancy dinner which we ate out on the patio on a beautiful breezy evening.

But she had some startling news to deliver. 

She is anticipating having open heart surgery in the next few months. She has had a heart aneurysm for the past 15 years - the same type that killed John Ritter which has always loomed overhead. She recently saw a cardiologist and he believes the aneurysm has grown and is now urging her to have the intensive surgery to repair it. Kevin and I could tell how hard this recent news had been for her. She has been stressed to the max and it showed. We are proud of how much courage it takes for her to go through such a scary surgery and are rallying beside her to help her however she needs. She is widowed and lives alone and will certainly need the help. If you get a moment, please say some prayers for her that everything will turn out okay.

And last, I just have to take a minute to introduce you to my Mom and tell you a little about who she was.

My mom was an AMAZING woman. There was no one else like her and this world is a better place because God shared her with us for 53 short years.

She managed to get her undergraduate degree while raising her three small children. During this time, my dad lost his eyesight. Even as he went blind, she continued to take care of us and the home while my blind dad defied odds and continued to provide for our family (he's pretty incredible too!)

When my dad finally retired and we were grown, my mom completed her graduate degree. She began working as a High School Special Education Reading teacher at a local high school.  She was the most dedicated teacher and pushed her students (who many times had been pushed aside in the past) to achieve their very best. Many of these students had never read a book in their life before starting in her class, but she knew they were capable of so much more.

Tragedy struck in 2007 when my mom was nearly killed in a car accident. While she did not lose her life, she did lose her right leg.  She was dedicated to recovering so that she could quickly return to the students who needed her. Despite doctor’s recommendations, she returned to work in a wheelchair just weeks after her amputation, far ahead of the schedule that her school would have accepted. She was an inspiration to everyone she met, and a hero to her students and my family. In fact, her high school started a reading scholarship in her name after she passed away from cancer in 2011.

I remember the unbelievable turn-out of people at her Christmas eve funeral, many of whom I had never met before. I heard story after story of how she had touched, and in many cases changed each of their lives. The most touching experience was when a young man unexpectedly walked up to the pulpit and explained he couldn't read before meeting my mom as a sophomore. She inspired him and believed in him when no one else had. He proceeded to read a poem he had written for her. He read it through tears. I could see his life was forever changed and I can't adequately explain through words the level of pride I felt at that moment. It was surreal. 

A box full of books sits alone in our otherwise empty future nursery. When I learned I was pregnant in February, the first thing we did was bought dozens of books. My heart longs for the day when I can read them to our little ones just a my mom had done for me.

I will be proud if I can even be half of the woman my mom was.

I miss you terribly, Mom. You were the best Mom anyone could ask for, and my best friend too. I know you're watching. I know you're pulling strings in heaven like you promised me you would. I know there is something amazing in store for us. 


  1. Wow. What a wonderful mother!

    Prayers for you!

  2. What an amazing journey you've been on. You are clearly an amazing and strong person. *Hugs*

  3. Happy Mother's Day! You are a mother.

    I'm so glad the day was easier than you thought it would be. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have had the losses you have and to go through the day. HUGS!

  4. I'm happy the day was easier than expected! Many prayers for your MIL's surgery to be successful and the recovery to be quick. It sounds like you have a great role model in your mother. I'm sure you will be as wonderful a mother as she was! -DoubleP

  5. beautiful. thank you so much for introducing us to your mom. she sounds like an amazing wife, mom and teacher! I am sorry that you lost her too early. I am so impressed by your positive attitude on this Monday post Mothers Day! It shows that you have picked the right path for you!!! I feel so much hope that you will be a mom again next year!!

  6. Big congrats to Libby! A friend of mine's wife gave birth on Mothers Day, too.

    I'm sorry I never got a chance to meet your mother, but she sounds amazing! And seeing her picture, you look JUST like her :)

  7. I'm glad you were able to make it through Mother's Day without too much trouble. You are a very strong woman, just like your Mom. This is a wonderful tribute to her. She sounds like a very special person.