Last night Libby completed the psychological informational session. Woo hoo! That giant box has a checkmark in it now! Yay! She said it went well, and much of the discussion was geared around how to tell the story of this embryo adoption to the children involved. This includes her existing children as well as any children resulting from these five embryos we are adopting.
I remember a similar discussion when we went in for our psychological consult session last year. We mainly talked about the importance of transparency of their origins with any resulting children. We loved the idea using the term "baby seed" to keep it age appropriate without getting too birds-and-bees. Since that session, the basic gist of the storyline we had planned to tell our kids would be:
Mommies and daddies grow babies from baby seeds. Sometimes mommies and daddies can use their own baby seeds, and sometimes they need a little help from other families. We needed a little help, but we were lucky enough to have a wonderful family share their baby seeds with us so we could grow our family which resulted in....you! We are extra lucky because you are loved by two families!
Pretty basic, but we recognize that it's really important that we use the same story and the same terminology with all of the kids to keep it consistent, especially if they ever want to meet one another. So I'm looking to you all to share how you've chosen to share your child(ren)'s embryo adoption story.
Here are some of my specific questions.
What term do you use to refer to the donors to your children?
What term do you use when you discuss with adults?
What term do you call the relationship between genetic siblings born to the two different families?
Is it a different term for children than to adults?
What type of story dialog have you used around your child's origins?
What story did your donor tell their children and in what terms?
How and when did you introduce the story to the children?
How and when did your donor introduce the story to her children?
I look forward to reading about your experience with this! Libby and I plan to put some thought into this and to have some good discussions and we'd love your suggestions to help with that.