The dish came to me and my eyes welled up with tears. In my mind I said:
I wish that you will never know the pain of infertility.
I had to quickly pass the dish to the next person so I didn't get too wrapped up in the emotion involved in that moment, but it was very powerful for me. I watched the bride and groom smile at the alter, blissful and in love. I remember staring at Kevin the same way the day we got married. We had no idea what was ahead. I had a moment of reflection on how much has happened since our blissful wedding day.
So much joy.
So much pain.
But there was something freeing in being able to wrap up the road we've traveled into a single wish and send it into the universe for this couple's new life.
I was reminded that I am not the same person I was when I stood at that alter, I am forever changed. I am even more in love with Kevin today than I was on our wedding day despite...actually no, because of the hard road we have walked. I feel as though I have aged by centuries. This has been difficult, yet rewarding at the same time. I can say that we have had to remind ourselves of the vow "in good times in bad" more than we ever thought we would. And for that, we are stronger.
On the way home from the wedding I was surprised to hear Kevin express that he had done much of the same reflecting that I had done during the ceremony. It was so sweet to hear him talk joyously about the day he took me as his wife. I asked him what his wish was for the newlyweds and...
It was the exact same as mine. Infertility changes our husbands too, ladies.
If I could go back in a time machine to October 24, 2009 I would have told myself:
Don't let the bumps in the road make you forget to show love to your husband.
Pain hurts, but it has a purpose.
Never give up.
It will all be worth it in the end.
What would you have told yourself on your wedding day if you could go back?
The beautiful rings that will forever remind me of my vows